The semester is over! That was the hardest one yet, for me at least.I am so so glad it is over.And that is enough talk about that... Ha!So. Obviously I am not going to Haiti this winter.I am pretty disappointed.I am on my way to Alberta tomorrow! I think I am ready...I know that sometimes what I think is good timing is in fact NOT good timing at all. I know that it's probably (somehow) good that I spend Christmas with my Canadian family. In the snow. And the ice. I will be packing sweaters, long underwears and stealing ALL THE BLANKETS in the house. And maybe the neighbour's house too...

And I know that it's time to stay. Right now. And I'll go, when You say. When You say.

And really. I have had time to breathe for the first time in... I don't know how long. At LEAST 9 months. I almost feel like myself for the first time in ages.

I have done some cleaning. Some painting. Some baking and cooking. My bread is pretty amazing. I have also been reading. I read Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder in like 48 hours. All 312 pages. Whew!

Having time to just BE is really a good thing for me. There is so much to process and my brain is in overdrive thinking and planning for the future. Bringing what I've learned from school, people, books, research, conversation together into something that actually makes sense....

So much of what I learned in this last, difficult semester is EXACTLY in line with what these two books are saying to me...

All over Facebook are posts and articles - Celebrities with poor hygiene, must-have Christmas gifts, 1st class lifestyle, earn more money....!

And all I want is to be in Haiti with the kids. I don't want any things. I just want to be in Haiti. I have felt such a disconnect and lack of community this semester. Mostly because I was totally overwhelmed with school this semester, and after 3 months in Haiti, I don't know how to come back to Canada and be okay. I have nothing to give. I don't feel okay. I saw more than I ever have in Haiti, and I don't even know how to put most of it into words and I don't want to burden others. So I disconnect. I don't even know how to have a normal conversation with people.

And the theme of the semester is the importance of community.

The importance of community.

In the season where I have felt so isolated.

I believe in community deeply now.

I feel loved in Haiti. We do life together in Haiti. Life in Haiti is HARD. But we do life together.

That is what I want. To be part of a community.

And in the midst of this all, God is still good. 

I have 1.5 years left. Then I will move to Haiti. Full time. Long term.

I am going to live in Haiti.

That feels good to say. I am almost home now! I won't quit now!

I also have been playing a lot of music. I want to play music with people so so bad. I wish I could just play music all the time. I have songs. But I don't have people to play with. I want to DO something with my music. Not just sit on it. M pa konnen. I don't know. Maybe music jams are in my future....?

ALSO I did a presentation today in an elementary school about Haiti and the need for education. There were 60 kids from grade 6 and 7.

And it was amazing! I want to do more presentations. The kids were really engaged and asked AWESOME questions! Some that I couldn't answer. It was so so great!

Now I am packed, and leaving for my family's house tomorrow. It is still bitter sweet. I will never have my whole family in one place again. There will always be tension between Haiti and Canada.

And I think that is okay.

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