Fairy Tales

My oh my.

I have been back in Canada for almost 2.5 weeks now. It feels like much longer than 2 weeks. I am back to having a headache or 2 every week. I am SO thankful that school starts tomorrow. I will be ACTUALLY working towards my goals again.
I don't think I could stand feeling like I am sitting around waiting for life to happen to me much longer....

You know what the hardest things are this time?

After spending 6 weeks with the kids and staff at New Life, it is NOT easy to just leave. I almost feel guilty for abandoning everyone, although I know that is not what they think. They all know I am coming back as soon as possible.

 

At least, everyone except the toddlers and babies...

Then we have the fact that I didn't go with a team. The whole trip was still incredibly stress free.
But there is no de-briefing that comes with travelling with a group.
I don't have people to talk to that have experienced what I have experienced. I could tell countless stories. But even the conservative versions sound unbelievable.

How do you tell stories when no one is sure they even believe the stories?

 

Well, apparently I don't. Instead, I am starting to tell the stories people want to hear.

 

I played with some babies.

I helped feed some children.

I ate Haitian street food.

 

But there was so much more. So much that I don't even know how to put into words yet. And until I can show people photos of what Haiti actually looks like, my stories will mean nothing.

 

Until people actually drive down the streets of Port au Prince and smell the market, burning garbage, cooking street food and diesel all mixed together, until they are in the middle of the traffic and blaring horns, driving on the sidewalks on the wrong side of the road, my stories will sound too fantastic to be true.

Until people travel into the mountains to help with medical clinics and feedings, the word "malnourishment" will mean nothing. Orange hair will still be fashionable, we will complain about a couple of small potholes, and when our steak is not cooked exactly how we want it, we will send it back for a new one.

 

Coming home to this is HARD. Harder than most people would think. But I know it is one of the hazards of travelling and volunteering in places like Haiti. We can travel as much as we want, but until we interact with people on the same level, see where they are living, see what they are feeding their children and eating themselves (or not...), and hear their stories, my pictures and stories may as well be fairy tales.

 

 

 

And maybe it is good that they remain fairy tales for now. Legends and fairy tales have had a huge impact on so many people. Maybe a fairy tale is the 'spoonful of sugar' that 'helps the medicine go down'.

 

 

Anyways...

I know I am going through serious baby/kid/Haiti withdrawal.

If I had the resources, and my family agreed, I would be Christmas-ing in Haiti, Spring-break-ing in Haiti, and taking weekend trips down too. But that is not going to happen this year (especially not the weekend trips...).

So I look forward to spring and summer, look forward to returning to Haiti. I look forward to 9 months of planning ahead for the next trip.

 

 

 

"There are far, far better things ahead than anything we can leave behind"

- C S Lewis

 

 

3 more years of school.