I want to be fearless.FEARLESS.I want to be able to love people, needing and expecting nothing in return, and not being afraid.It is hard.I am not good at this. Especially with adults. Especially with people in Canada.Especially after 3 months loving and serving in Haiti.When you know that someone has spent a significant amount of time in a developing country, PLEASE just sit down and listen to them. Sit in silence if you have to. It might take a while. Let them get emotional and not make sense and tell you of all the beautiful and terrible things that they saw, until there is nothing left to say. You don't have to say a thing. Just be present. Maybe bring some tissue...I know NOW that I needed this, but I didn't know how to ask for it.I don't have a team to debrief with. I don't have friends in Canada that have been to Haiti. But I still needed to debrief with someone. Anyone.I want to be fearless. I want to love without fear.But it is so hard to be generous when I feel like I have barely enough to get by myself.When I return to Canada after my trip this summer, I will probably need a person or two that I trust who are willing to just sit and listen to me. Look at photos and videos of the people that are so so dear to my heart now. (This is your warning)I still feel pretty empty and isolated, 7 months later. I am working on that. I am taking a month after the semester is over to just work and breathe, and do things that I love and that breathe life into me.God is working on it too. (Pretty sure the Vancouver cherry blossoms and beautiful weather are ALL FOR MY SAKE)I don't know if I'll ever be back to normal, but I think we knew that when I left on my very first trip to Haiti in 2010.Thank God for beautiful journeys, and for being the perfect travel companion!

Fearless.

dandelion seeds