After Almost 2 Months in Canada...
Let's be honest.I have completely, and intentionally been avoiding writing anything on here.I don't want to share too much. I have so many thoughts about Haiti, about Canada, about America, and I don't think I can or should share most of them...This summer in Haiti was the hardest one yet. I actually feel like I failed in some ways. But I still wasn't ready to leave.I am going into my last year of school. I am struggling to find motivation, but I am pushing through, and getting things done regardless.I don't have a placement for my internship yet, so what is happening in January is still up in the air. I can't graduate without this internship. (If anyone knows of a CTRS who works with children/youth or in mental health, and might want an intern for 4 months, let me know!)BUT I have been hiking, and playing music, and spending some good time with good people. I keep getting excited about the things that could be done in Vancouver and in Haiti with music and art, youth and young adults. I wish I could do everything all at once, and that I have the time, money and energy to do it all right now.I keep finding places in Haiti that I want to explore, people who have really cool programs set up that I want to experience, and bring back to New Life. There are so many beautiful and exciting things in this world, and I am not very patient sometimes (all the time). I just want to write, and make art and music all the time. Every day, all day long.I feel like I am really on the right track (especially with school), I am trusting that God has a plan, and I am not worrying about all of this (almost all of the time!). No anxiety is a big improvement from even six months ago. Whether I graduate at the scheduled time, whether I go to Haiti in the summer, or in January in place of an internship, whether I stay in Vancouver for a while longer, or only have a couple of months left, I know that God has it figured out, and all I have to do is pray and listen, and act on what I believe God wants me to do. (I am getting better at this!).I sure miss my kids, but I know that they are well taken care of, and there are SO MANY PEOPLE who are down there loving on the kids, and doing the good work.And I will just keep moving and try to stay focused and balanced for 2 more months.LoveLoveLove!